Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
