The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
