I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
