did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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