And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
