Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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