I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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