Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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