Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish you could order shots online.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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