dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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