i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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