I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my being single is dangerous.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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