You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
