I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
