If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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