I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
