ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
