we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
