Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
