There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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