She said her name was "party"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
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Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize