I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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