Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
