I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
