This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
