i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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