And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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