i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
