oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
