Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
