You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
