walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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