I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I don't think brook has ever known best
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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