if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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