Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
