another moral hangover. fuck.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
