yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
