the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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