His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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