I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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