Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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