im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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