maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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