and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
