She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize