Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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