im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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