how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
