I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
