hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ok first of all what the fuck
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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