There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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