My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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