hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am one with the molecules
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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