i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
