im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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