hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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