Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
