Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
