is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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