I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
