I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize