people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
