what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize