He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
