we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
