I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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