I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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