He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
