Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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