My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
