He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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