That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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