We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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