Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
